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Mad Doris

Doris spent her time, changing the order of the letters of her name, trying to discover that magic combination which might explain to her how and why she had gone crazy before she became thirteen, why she heard voices, why she felt an irresistible desire to prick out the shining eye of her treating psychiatrist, prick out the shining eyes of all other psychiatrists, nurses and medical assistants who did not treat her, put them in jars, and preserve them for the days when she would be normal and lonely.




'ORRIS, ROD, DOORS, DRIS, RIS', she scratched on the empty paper, laughing with satisfaction after each next word. Yes, maybe her madness was her destiny or was caused by the fact that there were other people in her family who had gone mad. Maybe the fact that she listened to Doors ten hours a day and drank tranquilizers with vodka until she fell unconscious was of importance. As for 'ris and dris' - their meaning was incomprehensible to her brain.




Her psychiatrist came into the room. Probably having perceived her longing wish, he had taken measures and was wearing dark blue welder's glasses to protect his shining and attractive eyes. He held the usual psychotherapeutical tool in his arms - an electric rod. Doris promptly thrusted the paper in her mouth and started to savagely chew. The psychiatrist rushed forward to her, trying to open her jaws with traditional movements. He was successful in taking the wet and smashed ball of paper out, before Doris had swallowed it. Then he softly tapped her neck with the rod and, while she twisted convulsively on the mosaic floor, he involved himself in trying to decipher what was written on the paper. Unfortunately, all that was written on it had gone, having been erased and destroyed by Mad Doris' saliva and teeth.




The psychiatrist, Alfonso (that was the name of the man with medical education), loudly pronounced curses in German, then he did it in Russian, English, French, Italian, and Greek, and again angrily pushed Doris with the rod, this in her ribs. However, Doris had providently taken a bit into the iron foot of the bed and, having been stably earthened, she was absolutely careless of the electric currents.




'God damn you, bloody crazy girl!', Alfonso snarled, kicking her in the kidneys as strong as he could, although he knew that, wearing the rubber shoes, he could not expect any results. Moreover, he did not know that the Doris' side he was kicking at, was deprived of a kidney. They stole it on a trip to Romania.




'Ah, ah!', Doris screamed, but deepdown in herself she ridiculed her foolish doctor who had not even the smallest idea of her stolen kidney.




'Tell me, you, crazy girl, what was written on the paper, or I shall bring the wolves and the mountain cats from Amelia's visions to tear your anemic intestines!, Alfonso played his last trumptcard. His rich practical experience had showed him that the crazy people who could stand up to such a were not many.




Now it all became crystally clear to Doris! She understood the meaning of the last two words from the paper that existed no longer. The mountain cats from Amelia's visions would run over to her, rip her up, and spill her dirt all over the Madhouse.




Doris let bite of the bed's foot and developed several hiccups. She did not want the mountain cats to come over to her and tear her intestines.




'I just wanted to know why I am crazy!', she said in a crying voice, stretching up her feeble arms, all over covered with tiny holes by the application of syringes. Alfonso took her arms and, having overcome his spontaneous desire to break them, lifted her upright. He gently touched her blond hair. He cleaned her nose, removing the snots. Then, becoming tender, he said,' Because you are living in a Madhouse, little Doris!'.




Doris did not hear him. Her overall attention was occupied by the thought how to take the blue glass off and catch the shining eyes that were hiding behind them… to prepare a preserved food for her for the days when she would be normal and lonely.


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